Hello all,

My blog has mostly been a light commentary on my incredible travels – it’s an easy and convenient way to keep in touch with everyone at home. But I felt like I should add in some of my thoughts and opinions in honor of my halfway point here (seven months!)… I cannot believe it.

I was watching West Wing (my new obsession thanks to my boyfriend’s constant nagging) and at one point in season 5, CJ (press secretary) says to Toby (speechwriter) “Life’s not perfect, but why does anyone think that we don’t live in a world we construct?”

This has been my biggest complaint about Turkey thus far.  I have another small anecdote I want to tell before I launch into the “why this bothers me so much” argument.  When I was 12 or 13, I read a quote somewhere that said “I wish people would stop telling me that I can be anything I want to be.  I never thought I couldn’t.”  I really liked the quote, and I showed it to my mother, who immediately got angry.  Those of you who know my mother know she’s pretty hard to anger (unless she decides that TODAY IS THE DAY MY ROOM IS GOING TO GET CLEANED!!  Ohh flashbacks of childhood) so I was really confused.  Her response?  “Don’t ever take that for granted.  The majority of the world grows up thinking that they don’t have any options, so if you believe you can do anything, you better not let that chance pass you by.”

Here I am 15 or so years later, and I cannot believe how utterly frustrating it is to live and work alongside people whose mantra is “Well, what can we do?” in response to any problem, big or small.  Micky and I were talking to one of our coworkers the other day, and he told us that Turks are lazy and spend most of their lives trying to cut corners, rather than build them.  Additionally, the structure of the Turkish school system is rote memorization rather than critical thinking skills.  This is where the “well, what can we do?” mentality sets in.  Unless you can think creatively, there is no solution other than the 3-4 that you’ve grown up with — even when you know from experiences that those solutions don’t work.

This mentality is made even stronger by a society in which the male is the king.  Trying to keep my cool when people say “well how did your father/boyfriend permit you to come here for a year?” has tested me far past the point that I previous thought would break me.  The response “I make my own decisions” sends people into visible shock, as if the idea that a woman can make her own choices absolutely bewilders them.  This is so stereotypical for how Americans view the Middle East, but still I find it surprising in a country that has adopted a number of Western thoughts and customs and where women continually make up more and more of the workforce.  One of my students, a sweet and incredibly smart girl who is studying to be an English teacher, has decided not to take the exams to apply for Erasmus (the study abroad program in Europe) because her “boyfriend will not permit her.”  Those are her exact words.  I can think of a lot of reasons that warrant not going abroad (even the idea that she might miss him for the four months she’d be gone), but the idea that he can refuse to let her go sends me into a feminist rage.

The “what can we do?” mentality permeates every part of life here, ranging from work and school, to one’s personal life.  If your father says you cannot marry the man you love, you either break it off with him or you see him in secret.  If your boss tells you to work on your off day, well then you work two weeks straight without one day off… for no extra pay.  Thanks to a school system that is driven by exams, extra courses outside of school, and constant studying, only those with the means to pay for the private schools and extra courses seem to make it — the “rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer” issue.

It’s not that we don’t have those problems in America.  It’s that the ideals and beliefs our country were built on say that hard work and perseverance can get you everywhere.  I have never, not for one day of my life, believed that there was something I could not do — everything is possible.  Everything can be changed.  Everything can get better if you believe it will.  I sound like a bad greeting card or American propaganda, which makes me laugh because anyone who knows me knows I’m one of the least patriotic people ever, but I cannot argue that being in a country like this has made me see all of the benefits and amenities we are afforded as Americans.  I’m still not ready to go back to the States, and it’s unlikely to be my final resting place, but I am happy about my newfound appreciation for my country.  It’s so easy to focus on what we do wrong.  I get incensed over healthcare (how can we refuse to take care of our fellow countrymen?) and our school system is a disaster, but the potential for opportunity is what sets us apart.  Maybe we are young, but no one can deny how far we have come in such a short time.  Our path has many twists and turns, and it is unlikely that we will ever see a perfect country, but our foundation and our beliefs in justice, liberty, and growth cannot be ignored and tossed aside.

I apologise that this seems to be an attack on Turkey.  I don’t mean it as such; I do love certain aspects of this country and I appreciate that there are aspects of Turkish culture that I plan to bring with me and implement in my life going forward.  My only goal with this essay was to comment on something that has bothered me since the majority of my blog has been my positive experiences in this country.

Next up: finishing my England trip.  It’s about half written, so expect that in the next few days.  Until then, happy weekend everyone!  xo